I'm almost certainly older than you , there's a good chance you're a teenager , I'm far from being a teenager . Let me take you back to a galaxy far far away , in a land that time forgot .
England : The dark ages
It was a wet and windy morning , so it could be any time of the year . Banshees wailed loudly . High above two anonymous Angels ( Angel A and Angel B ) were talking : "You've not sent 'him' have you ? " asked Angel A incredulously "Oh come on , ever since April fools day this seemed like a good idea , my timing might be out , but it's the thought that counts " chuckled Angel B "You'll be in for it when the big 'fella finds out . " observed Angel A smugly .
So it came to pass that a hairy baby was born , far away in a pub an Irish man with a load of "acquired" butter was celebrating his success , unfortunately he was wanted at a hospital to see his newly born child and his boss wanted to know where the fuck he was . Panic set in , the butter was stuffed into his pockets , the butter melted , and he's never forgiven me for it .
So it came to pass some more that I acquired decent musical tastes , despite the 80's . The Sterophonics , The Strokes , The Smashing Pumpkins , Blur , Oasis , U2 , Coldplay , The White Stripes , Beck , System of a Down , Marilyn Manson .. to name a few random CD's I can currently see . I much prefer indie / alternative / rock .
So it came to pass even more that I should be deemed to follow Aston Villa football club , the greatest football club in the world , well they were in 1897 , that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it .
I'm not married , I don't have children , I don't think I'm firing blanks , I just paid attention in sex eductaion classes , although it did take me a while to figure out how to get a condom onto a milk bottle . If you have any questions , feel free to ask them , I'll always answer , even if it's abuse !